“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.”*
Recently, one of my single girlfriends came over to share lunch and watch an episode of the series This is Us. In the middle of the episode, something sparked us to reflect on our own love lives… or, rather, lack thereof… We shared our experiences, our heart’s desires, our annoyances, and our frustration in waiting… and waiting… and waiting…
After we finished and my friend left, I began to reflect on our conversation… It got me thinking what would it look like to be a wife? Not, what does it look like day in day out… But rather, what would I look like as a wife…? what kind of wife would I be? What are the traits that I would hope to possess? And it occurred to me, I’m not there yet…
I’ve been blessed to know many godly women who have been great examples to me of what it looks like to be a good wife, and a good mother… It’s taken them courage… persistence… perseverance… tolerance… forgiveness… self–sacrifice… allowance… acceptance… determination… am I that kind of person?
To be a wife is so much more than being a lover, an assistant, or a support…
It means being an encourager… being an ego booster… being a confronter…
It means being willing to put in the hard work to work through differences, disagreements, and misunderstandings… without running away…
It means being vulnerable and real…
It means being willing to put aside the desire to be found correct, and instead seek to be one…
And, I venture, it means many more things I have yet to understand or even know…
Proverbs 31 has always been the passage that the Church has always looked to as the best example of a wife… To be honest, at times that Proverbs 31 lady seems so “perfect” that it seems impossible to try to be like her… even though the desire remains strong to try to keep her pace…! Like the perfect “soccer mom” of the 90’s…
Well, as I sit here in my cozy bedroom-for-one enjoying an evening of peace and quiet, I’m humbled to recognize the ways in which I have to grow… even as I recognize these things and even strive for them, I must also accept the truth that I’ll never be perfect… never…
So, as I seek to “grow up” in maturity – to be tolerant, gracious, flexible, dependable, stable, encouraging – I also seek to rest in authenticity, being real about who I am and where I’m at…
And so, I guess I am content to wait… but wait with purpose… wait in active preparation… seeking to grow, deal with my insecurities, my anxieties, my “issues…” so that when I meet my man, I can be all the more ready to grow in oneness with him…
“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”**
*Proverbs 13:12
**Ecclesiastes 4:12
pc: Sarah Coffey, Cesis, Latvia 2016
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